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Sidebar on Ed
Ed was cool enough not only to drive the 3 hours from Jacksonville to Orlando to see me, but he was also a saint to drive my drunk ass around. He's the most fun designated driver ever. Sober Sister with an attitude, he yells at idiot motorists, checks out everyone, and has the good mind to blast us some WHITNEY on the way to the gay clubs. (Yes, we are children of the 90s.)
As you may or may not know, I'm a stickler for grammar and factual accuracy. If you notice any errors on my site, you'd make my day by letting me know: corrections >
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"HOMECOMING" READING : Orlando, FL
Urban Think! Bookstore / July 6, 2007
Over the Fourth of July weekend 2007, I flew back home for a quick visit and to do the dreaded "Homecoming" reading from The Straight Road to Kylie. Dreaded because, well, let's face it: my debut novel isn't always the most savory and grandparent-friendly material. And everyone was there. But it turned out to be a total success, and the post-reading celebration (involving free Heineken, drunken tattoo viewings, and some foul-mouthed Florida drag queens) was pretty amazing, as well!
My friend Ed (see sidebar) drove from Jacksonville the morning of the reading, to join me for a day of pre-event eating and shopping in Orlando. We went out for sushi downtown (so cheap! I miss living in Florida!, then went to shop at Millenia Mall, where neither of us found a DAMN THING. Mostly because we had no money. *Sniff, sniff*
To drown my post-shopping-emptyhandedness sorrow, Ed tried to take me to the Blue Martini for a midafternoon I'm-on-vacation-dammit cocktail, but lo and behold, it wasn't open at 3 in the afternoon. |
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Feeling like a lush (or maybe just like a New Yorker), I had Ed take us back downtown to the Grand Bohemian Hotel (site of Chapter 8 in the book), where I enjoyed a couple of espresso/kahlua martinis and Ed ate a second lunch. Yeah. Drinks at 3:30 felt a little silly, but I was on vacation (and I had to say the phrase "misplace my penis in her vagina" in front of my entire Orlando family in another few hours)!
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By 6:30, it was READING TIME!!!!! The event was at this great bookstore Urban Think! in Thornton Park, my favorite little downtown neighborhood in Orlando. (The 'hood even makes a cameo in the book, so it was perfect.) Jim Crescitelli was super-sweet and helpful, and got the incoming crowd happy with wine, beer, and coffee from the bar in the back of the store. |
All I can say is, "Wow." I was so happy with the turnout, and was so flattered to have been the center of attention. (Who wouldn't be?!) Some people had driven from as far away as Sarasota and Tampa, and I just felt so special. Friends, family, former teachers, complete strangers, all sorts of people were there. I also got to meet John Sullivan from Watermark, the gay Orlando publication that ran this interview with me.
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| Me and (mostly) my family, after the Urban Think! reading. (Photo by John Sullivan) |
Around 7:30, once everyone was there and situated, I started my reading. I read a bit from Orlando-centric Chapters 3 and 7, answered a couple questions, and signed about 30 books, and was generally a very happy boy. And I got a lot of laughs, which is really my goal every time....
(Picture by John Sullivan) |
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...And now for the post-reading wrapup...
If someone had told me that I'd be at an outdoor table at Wild Side BBQ (which also makes a Kylie cameo—I swear I didn't mean for my day to be so meta) with my former English teacher, her 18-yr-old and 28-yr-old daughters, my old high-school friend Lacy, and a very random (and very cool and very smart) 18-yr-old future Duke student who'd seen the blurb about my reading in the paper that day, (and Ed), I'd've laughed. Ed and Lacy were the only ones I'd PLANNED on going out with, and I'm glad we'd just gone with the flow, because it ended up being fantastic.
Not only did I get to see said former English teacher's upper-ass tattoo, I got free Heineken! There were Heineken girls doing promo at the restaurant, and I—feeling all cool and euphoric—opened my book to a page where there were Heineken mentions (lord knows I love my Heinies), and said that that certainly entitled me to more free beer. And it did! The girls were so nice (and hot, jeez!), and came back a couple times—they even gave me a shirt! (Which I left by accident at the table...DAMMIT!) It was total kismet.
Okay, so the varied company, the ass tattoo, and the free Heinekens were interesting enough...but the fact that we all ended up at Parliament House, the INFAMOUS gay club-slash-motel (yes, I said "motel") was the best part. It was really a great night. Though I felt like an old fart, since I was practically winded after 10 minutes of dancing. That might've had to do with all the free Heinekens at dinner.
We saw a drag show, complete with the foulmouthed Southern drag queens I miss so dearly up in New York. They just don't take themselves too seriously in the South—my favorite part was where the hostess queen went into the audience and made some poor unsuspecting straight boy take off his shirt. Come to think of it, she might've ripped it off him. Then she was like, "You can go ahead and hit me, boy—you hit me, and I'll fall in love witchu. I'm that kinda woman!"
Too funny. So by 1am or so, everyone had gone home from P-House, and Ed and I were left to wander around the motel breezeways looking for trouble. Well, not really. Ed was sober (thank GOD), so we weren't in too much danger. We just wanted to see if there was any sort of skankalicious gay activity going on in the rooms (purely for passing-by observational purposes!). (Sidenote: It's best to have a Sober Sister when you're just wandering around outside the P-House rooms. Luckily Ed is the most fun Sober Sister/DD around!) Anyway, so then this dude hit on us all suave was like, "What're you two boys lookin' for?" all I could think to say was "Just some public fornication!" which broke him out of hitting-on-twentysomethings character and cracked him the hell up.
Like I said, I love to get laughs.
And what better note to end on than that?
Oh. Besides Taco Bell drive-through. That was divine.
I love Homecoming readings!!! Can't wait for the next one! |
